I have struggled on whether or not to write this post. I have debated whether this is the appropriate place or should I stick to a “blog-business-only” approach but my emotions won out. I can’t go on talking about my house, or someone else’s house, or anything else while my mind is preoccupied with a tragedy beyond my comprehension.
We went to the beach this weekend with a large group of friends and, as we were all packing up, one of my friends came and told me the awful news. A family that we know through our preschool had been involved in an awful car accident. The mom, Hadley was my son, Sullivan’s, preschool teacher this year. She has been at the school since my oldest son was there and she was the fun, bright, and bubbly teacher I always secretly wanted. She treated my Sully with nothing but patience and love this year. She was due with her second son in just a few weeks and last we talked, only a week ago, she was telling me how ready she was to have him. Her older son, Dobbs just so happened to be in my daughter, Harper’s, class this year. I can’t tell you how many times I heard Harper talk about Dobbs…”where Dobbs?” “Dobbs wear a diaper” “Dobbs my friend.” Sweet precious Dobbs did not survive the car accident. He was gone instantly.
Hadley was rushed to the hospital for an emergency c-section of baby Reed. Sadly he did not live either. He hung on for a couple of days but ultimately couldn’t survive the injuries to his tiny body. Hadley’s husband was in the car in front of her and his parents were in front of him. They all sustained minor injuries but that’s only physically. I cannot even begin to imagine the hell they are in right now. All the “whys” and what ifs” that must be going through their minds. An entire family forever altered.
I have struggled to have a single thought that doesn’t revolve around them. It seems like my entire community is talking about them and praying for them. I know that they have a deep faith and lots of support but I know that can’t touch what they must be feeling right now. Every time I picture Hadley’s sweet smile and easy breezy personality I cry again. And then I think of sweet Dobbs walking to his little cubby.
I can’t write a a blog post before getting all of this out and asking for any of you to also pray for them today and in the many many painful days ahead. If you feel inclined to help in some way there is a GoFundMe page set up here. I am trying to grasp what I can take away from all of this and it is only to be grateful for every second I have here on this earth with the people I love. It is to remember that bad things happen to good people and for reasons we can’t always understand right now. And that God never goes away and is in the midst of this very awful situation. Hug your loved ones and enjoy all the moments you have with them. Thank you for letting me use this place to vent and try to make sense of tragic situation.
Jennifer @ Dimples and Tangles says
This is so heart-breaking, Beth. I can't even imagine. My thoughts and prayers are with the family.
Cassie @ Primitive & Proper says
oh beth, i am so sorry to hear this. when i read yesterday reed was still living- my heart is broken for this family and i will keep them in my thoughts and prayers. and you, too. i know how hard it is to see families in your community suffer such loss. 🙁
Robin @ designbyrobinsnest.blogspot.com says
I am so sorry and will certainly pray for them. Burying a child is the hardest thing I have ever had to do and it changes you forever. This family will be in my thoughts and prayers.
desingpostinteriors@hotmail.com says
I am so sorry you have also had to ensure the unthinkable. Thank you for your prayers! And please share with me anything that may be helpful to them if you can/want.
desingpostinteriors@hotmail.com says
*endure
Robin @ designbyrobinsnest.blogspot.com says
The number one hardest thing for me was planning the funeral for my baby. If there are other family members that can assist with this, I would recommend it. It was extremely difficult to select personal mementos to bury with a child that you have not even had a chance to spend time with, but I don't know that anyone can help with that. The ONLY good advise I received was to tell myself that I could survive the next hour, then the afternoon, then day, days, weeks…consider timeframes in small manageable increments as the thought of moving on is unbearable and impossible.
Fake smile your way through life after the initial stages of grief and at some point all smiles won't be fake. Surround yourself with true friends and loved ones, if you have fake friends that aren't there for you when life gets tough then this is the time to let them go. I also allowed my work to be my place of solace. Pray for them, be there for them, and listen. It's all you can do!
desingpostinteriors@hotmail.com says
Thank you so much for sharing this Robin!
Summer Hogan says
This story is haunting me! I seriously think about it all day long too! L and I have been praying for them every night! I hope they are eventually able to heal with God's help!
Mallory says
This is just so unthinkable. I've teared up so many times today thinking about this sweet family. I keep telling myself that God is ALWAYS good, but man this just doesn't seem fair. Praying for peace and healing.
Lisa Mende says
Beautifully written Beth, I felt the same as you and just had to write my thoughts for people to read. So glad to connect with you even though it is through such tragedy. You will be a source of strength for Hadley! God bless you for that! Oxox
desingpostinteriors@hotmail.com says
It has definitely connected many of us forever. I will never feel the same walking into church or preschool and my faith is forever deepened. I hope that I have the privilege to be there for her in any way possible!
ElevenGables says
Praying for the family and loved ones left behind. Thank you for sharing this heartbreaking story. May He cover them with his feathers.