This weekend we will be celebrating our second special birthday this month. Sullivan just turned 2 and now Oliver is turning 5. That seems impossible!! Especially the thought of now having a 5 year old! Seriously where does the time go?! My kids birthdays have always made me kinda sad which probably sounds awful but they do. No one warned me that when they turn another year older it will feel kinda sad, like the years are going too quickly. I know in the midst of everyday I complain and feel overwhelmed and sometimes even claim that I can’t wait for these days to be over but if the truth be told I don’t ever want these days to end.
I want to always be the one driving my kids around, knowing exactly where they are and that they are safe. I dread the days when they don’t need me for their every wish and when they realize that there is a whole world outside of this house and our family. I hope that when those days come I will be the supportive, go-get-em kind of mom but I have to be honest it’s going to be hard to let go. Every birthday is a reminder that I am beyond blessed to have these little dudes and it also is a reminder that everything is fleeting. Next year I will send a child off to “real” school and although I will cherish the extra hours to myself, I will also already miss the days when we could all just be home in our pjs.
So this weekend we will be treating my “big boy” to a movie and lunch date and I am going to try to remember every minute. I am going to listen to him talk and try to mentally log the sound of his voice at this age. I will stare at his little features and make note of how they have changed since he was a baby. I will steal as many hugs and kisses and “you’re beautifuls” as I possibly can. I will be thankful that I have been able to experience motherhood thus far and that God chose these two little boys for me. And I will try my hardest to get excited about everything this next year will hold even if it is different!